It’s one of those nights again. Staring at the city lights from my window. The memories I thought had faded come rushing back to me so clearly. The midnight drives. The food. The laughter. The atmosphere. The chemistry. Now all I have is the memories. Do you still have them? Or did they fade like Polaroids.
I remember the love. Love makes you warm,fuzzy and optimistic. You feel like you could conquer anything that comes your way. Love leaves you cold, broken and alone. You feel like nothing could ever hurt you that bad. Nothing ever should. Love creeps up on you,preys on your fantasies and leaves you high up in the clouds.
I have known nothing as beautiful as you and nothing as perfect as us.
Your love also built me. Made me better. Lets say an upgrade for lack of a better word. I said I could never love, seems like you were in cahoots with Love at the time. Touché!
He was a demon to test my honour. A fantasy too real to ignore. He had me spellbound; mesmerizing me with a look that stripped me bare and caressed my senses. He could make me lose control, forget the dreams that drove me and I knew I must resist this seducer. He ignited a fever in my blood, made me feel wildly alive and utterly at risk.
The sad thing about a love so strong is the aftermath. What to do without it. What to do after its all gone down the drain. Curl up on your bed, watch The Notebook again or cry your heart out? Get your hair done, fix your makeup or hit the clubs? Cut your hair short, buy a winery or move on to the next person?
Frankly, there wasn’t a moment I didn’t think about you. Every sky blue car I saw. Every party I went to. Even getting a new outfit. Reminded me of you. Sometimes it even felt like we hadn’t let us go, like we’d fought for it. Then I’d wake up alone,tangled up in my sheets,thinking I had someone to rock me back to sleep.
I was hurting when I walked away. I dont know if you were. Those nights under the stars, with your car parked outside are ones I’d never forget. I’d agree to relive it one last time in a heart beat. Just to feel alive.
He was the fly guy with the dark hair and smooth vibes. I was the curvy girl with a tongue that spit nothing but fire. Now that I think about it I was way too mean to you. At times.
Nothing lasts forever though. Not even Romeo and Juliet. We were The Titanic and we finally hit our iceberg. We were a perfect pair but not put in the perfect situation. We knew we were the perfect match that night out at the club maybe that’s why we burnt out. Too fast a little too soon.
So, I’m still at my window. It’s raining now. The city looks alive like it’s calling out. “Come feel alive.” I’m gonna finish this coffee and get back to Looking for Alaska. The city lights will always remember us. Young, kinda dumb and not totally broke.