This week has been hell for me. Can you believe I can’t find any of my Disney movies on DVD?! So yay,internet to the rescue! The sad thing is rewatching these films as a grown up is a real eye opener. Those princes were messed up! They had issues deeper than government scandals. Allow me to enlighten you.
Alladin. The street rat who managed to steal the princess’ and the viewers’ hearts. Sure, he was a thief, talked to Abu ( his monkey) about his problems and was a Robin hood figure to the poor community,we still love this diamond in the rough. Reality check: He’s a compulsive liar. Whether you are a hero or not, lying is a deal breaker now.
Prince Charming. This is the prince who had most girls wearing puffy dresses, their mothers’ heels and bumping into every piece of furniture in the name of waltzing. He even chased after her. Men, all a lady wants is to be followed out when she makes a dramatic exit. Cinderella had it good huh? From grass to grace ey. Reality check: He wants a trophy wife. I dont mind BTW, charming was amazing.
Snow White’s prince had no name. So sad. Sob sob. Anyway, this young man climbed over a wall to sing with her. Snow ran from him but at the end of the movie he saves her from death with true love’s kiss. Reality check: He likes somnophilia. I’m a hopeless romantic too but I’d never kiss someone whose dead. Not even if I got paid.Never ever!
Prince Eric. The dashing young man with dark hair and a smile that could melt the Antarctic. I don’t blame Ariel for falling in love with him at first sight. Truth be told, I’d never defend any man when my father says its stupidity. He’d scare the love right outta me. Reality check: He waits for perfection. In his defense though, Ariel was kinda dumb. Her fascination with the fork was beyond this world.Her dad carried a trident everywhere for Pete’s sake.
Beast. He has no name either. Come on Disney, he’s a main character. I dont know about you but the bad boy thing never works for me. The best part for me was the dance with Belle. It was so enchanting it made me pity myself and these two left feet. So we all knew this, he was verbally abusive and violent but I love him for that last fight up on the roof though. Gaston deserved it.
There’s several others. Simba;won’t get a job. Peter Pan; has a girl on the side. Li Shang; gets pissed if you are not a guy.( What’s the deal with him BTW?) John Smith; him and his buddies won’t leave your house. Hercules; loves his ride more than you.Poor Meg.
So I started a discussion on who the perfect Disney prince is. Some said Prince Phillip who fell in love with Aurora.I partially agree because stalking is the most honest form of flattery. How else would he have found where she was? We have got to applaud the man on waiting a hundred years for his true love though.
Another said Flynn Rider. He saved Rapunzel from a tower ,from the evil witch, reunited her parents and made her dreams come true.Heres the thing though, I believe I’m supposed to be the only conceited person in my life. Not stealing from me is also a big plus.
Our hopes were now on the eye candy from across the sea. Prince Naveen of Maldonia. He can sing, he can dance and can throw a line or two at the ladies. Even as a frog he’s a charmer. However, I dont enough money in my name to sustain his gold digging behavior. So boy bye.
After a weekend of searching for perfection, I settled for Quasimodo. He was kind,thoughtful and selfless. He saw nothing but love in a world full of darkness. So prince or not,that eye sore was a sweet soul. A bit naive at times though.
Time changes perspectives but the endings are still happy. I’m off again to sing to Lion King. Feed your inner child.