Heavy.

So about today. Today has been the most emotional day of my life. I woke up early and lounged in my bed till about twenty minutes past seven when Bibo called and I rushed to the shower. For once, I was early for church. Achievement of the month made,now I can go back to my lazy self.
So anyway, church was amazing. Full of life, singing, dancing, laughing at our friends and just thanking God that He let me pick yet another outift to stun people with. That’s right! I always slay. Unless I’m dating you, then you know I put in minimal effort.

Afterwards, we congregate outside and say hello, hug a lot of people and give each other compliments ( the unwritten rule.) About noon, I rush out of the bible study group and rush off to town. I’ve got butterflies in my tummy,cobwebs in my head and nothing in my heart. Today I qualified to do what I love the most. I have a screenshot to prove it too. I also auditioned for choir. Guess what? I got in! You are looking at the newest soprano one member of the best girl group in Kenya. (Look at me figuratively.)

So immediately after practice, I rush to the bus station and board the best bus in sight “Scarface“. I’m home in no time and I wanna share my awesome feeling with my most cherished people. I won’t go into details but my pillow can tell it all. There’s a dark pink patch stained with tears and my head is throbbing so hard I think it will explode. Short breaths. Red swollen eyes. A lump or two in my throat. Then it hits me. I’m a pessimist.

Every time something good happens, the world around me reminds me just who’s the boss of who. People carry around so much more than they can carry. I keep dragging around what’s bringing me down and if I just let go I’d be set free. So I don’t talk about my feelings, I share them with my pillow Mr.Soak-It-Up. 

Which brings me to my point, I think. Getting the full story to a person is really important. Don’t just start yelling at me thinking I’m all good and I need a little negative criticism to spice up my life. You’re little spice may push me over the edge. Well not really, I don’t even trust the mirror’s opinion of me. So my day, 100-0 real quick. Thanks universe, for reminding me who I am, a pessimist.